it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
