it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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