they need to just BURY HIM!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
