Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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