How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Nicole vs. Life
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hippo gnu deer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
