Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
