I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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