I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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