i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
