their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad