Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
