I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
