the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
