its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
