walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you never un-have a 4some
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
