i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
