Can Purell be used as lube?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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