i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
