halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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