You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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