I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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