brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
