I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
