a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
