So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
