Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
