wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
