There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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