It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
