Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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