i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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