...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
