Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
