Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
