oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
