The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
