i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
