marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
