your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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