So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
