Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
