i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize