I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
