Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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