is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
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Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
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Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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