So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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