I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
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theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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