Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
