you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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