He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize