69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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