Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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