Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
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I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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