You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You ate ashes out of my bong
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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