New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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