I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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