it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
