Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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