i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
