She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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