these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
