I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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