I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
